5 Things Stopping You From Having an Orgasm

It should come as no real surprise that women take longer to climax than men do, but in recent years there’s a growing amount of research to suggest that a large portion of women struggle to reach orgasm at all during sex.

Let’s start by clarifying that this isn’t necessarily a reflection on someone’s partner. As Durex Sex & Relationships Expert Alix Fox once told HuffPost UK, “I speak to a lot of women who either think they can’t come cum at all, or that they can’t get there using fingers alone – only a vibrator”.

There are several reasons why you might not be managing to climax either with a partner or during solo play, which we’ll cover in the points below.

1. You’re rushing yourself, or your partner is making you feel rushed

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we increasingly tend to rush certain tasks – hanging up the laundry, washing the dishes, getting ready for work in the morning… and having sex. While there’s nothing wrong with having a quickie, it’s important to set adequate time aside for longer sex sessions. Women in particular often need 20-40 minutes of continuous stimulation before it’s possible to reach the finish line. If you’re feeling rushed while having sex with a partner, it might be worth having an intimate conversation about the matter, to try a slower, more drawn-out experience and see if that helps.

2. Your mind is elsewhere

It’s hard to reach climax during sex if your mind is focused on that overdue project at work, or what groceries you need to pick up for dinner tonight, or those messages you haven’t responded to yet! Try to refrain from those mental to-do lists you like to create for yourself, and be present in the moment. Concentrate on the sensations, and allow yourself to fully enjoy the experience.

3. You’re feeling stressed or anxious

It’s a bit of a cruel Catch-22 that sex can be highly effective in relieving stress and tension, however, stress and tension can prevent you from having satisfying sex. If you’re struggling to relax during intercourse or solo play, consider trialling some common relaxation techniques before your next intimate session – have a bath perhaps, or meditate, or ask your partner to start with a massage to alleviate muscle tension, for example.

4. You’re too focused on your partner’s satisfaction

We should all be considerate of wanting our partner to enjoy themselves in the bedroom of course, but if you’re constantly in your head about your own sexual performance and ability to meet your partner’s needs, then you’re never going to enjoy a fulfilling sex life yourself. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes when it comes to sex – especially if you communicate the situation to your partner so that they can spend some time focusing on “just you”.

5. Your relationship is on the rocks

If you and your partner aren’t currently on the best terms, this can have a dramatic impact on your sex life. Communication problems are a particularly delicate factor in what kind of sex you’re having in your relationship – to put it another way, poor communication and poor sex often goes hand in hand. This issue may be one with a more complex process required to resolve, and perhaps couples counselling could be the best way forward.

Other things that may be stopping you from having an orgasm

It’s worth mentioning that this list is by no means exhaustive. Factors like menopause, painful sex and self-inflicted mental blocks can all play a role in your difficulty to reach climax. However, the five symptoms listed above are a good place to start, and with any luck you’ll find that you quickly overcome whatever obstacle is standing between you and the “Big Oh”.

One final takeaway is that you may find it easier to reach orgasm with the right toys. At Femplay, we stock a wide range of high quality sex toys for couples and solo play alike – our online collection includes vibrators, dildos, kegel exercise toys, bondage items and more. Explore our selection online and don’t hesitate to get in touch if you have any questions or queries.

Mutual Masturbation: The What, the How, and the Here’s Why (Benefits)

Want to feel closer than ever? If you and your partner are ready to kick things up a notch, we have a treat for you. Mutual masturbation, though rarely talked about and even less often described, is an intimate, pleasurable way to connect with your partner. Believing steadfastly that we know our bodies best ourselves, we want to help our community teach their partners what they love – all the while having a fun time doing it.

Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

Beyond adding an extra spicy layer to your sexual toolbelt, mutual masturbation is one of the best ways for a couple to connect and help you receive the sex you both know, want, and love. How so? Among the many benefits to be gained, there are:

Setting yourself up for success: Ready to really get off? This duo session helps you get to where you want to be while enjoying both your own, and your partner’s, pleasure.

Teaching your partner new skills: By teaching (showing) your partner how you like to be touched, you can ramp up their skills for future sessions.

Connection: Sharing a sexual experience is intimate – teaching and showing your partner what you like best is a vulnerable position to be in. Add more intimacy and connectedness to your relationship by revealing more of your wants and needs.

New to trying out different sexual activities? Take a look below at our best suggestions for talking about self-pleasure together for the first time.

How to Connect with Your Partner by Masturbating Together

We get it – being the first partner to request something new in the bedroom can be a daunting experience. Instead of being intimidated by it, we’re all for empowerment. We believe that open, honest, and transparent communication is the key to getting what you want. Among the many ways to approach the subject, we prefer:

Talking about it when the pressure is off: Over dinner, lounging on the couch, or during an otherwise casual conversation.

Talking about it mid-session: Having trouble finding the words? Use your hands and test out new waters by guiding your partner to what you want to focus on. Do they turn you down? Not to fear! The only way you can lose is by never asking at all.

Regardless, if it is finally your time to shine, we always recommend having a body safe lubricant and protection on hand to keep things comfortable and safe when you’re ready to step it up a notch.

Whether you’re ready to break into new sexual territory, try out sex toys for the first time, or want to casually spice it up with a sexy lingerie set, Femplay is here to bring out the best in you. Our online space is the ideal destination for all things safe, fun, and naughty.

The How-to Guide for Buying Sexy Lingerie for Women Online

Shopping for yourself or a significant other? While we’re all for feeling your best in and out of the bedroom (no need to be in a relationship to shop for a sexy set!) we understand wanting to spice things up a notch with a little lacy something.

Whether you’re shopping solo, for a gift, or getting ready to surprise your partner, the Femplay team has summarised our best advice for shopping for women’s sexy lingerie online.

Ready to drop jaws? Read on.

The Ins and Outs of Sexy Lingerie

In the world of lingerie, styles, sets, and materials have come a long way in a very short amount of time. Catering to all bodies, shapes and preferences, every person can indulge themselves and their partner in a racy set sure to set the night on fire.

Fit: Shopping for plus size, during pregnancy, or hoping to sneak something secret under your day-to-day wear? Women’s lingerie comes in as many sizes as we do – meaning there is something for everyone. To ensure you look and feel your best, consider your standard undergarment sizing to feel confident that your body will be supported in the way you prefer.

Material: Have you ever considered the importance of touch in the bedroom? Beyond physical touch, some solo adventurers and couples love silks, satins, and lace after dark. If this sounds like you or your partner, consider the importance of material selection both on your skin and under their hands.

Breathability & Stretch: Feeling trapped in your (under) clothes isn’t the most fun way to begin a playful session. Make sure you’re ready to move – no matter what the lovemaking may bring. Looking for a few go-to shapes and styles? Read on.

Who, How, Where, and When to Buy Women’s Sexy Lingerie

Whether you’re looking for a barely there set or prefer to leave a little to the imagination, everybody can find their fit with a countless number of lingerie styles. Some of our favourites that run across the spectrum include:

Bra and G-string: Who says a classic can’t be perfect? Great for when you’re heading out on the town and want something sexy to reveal later, this go-to two-piece set is both functional and eye catching.

Baby doll dress: Looking for a thigh skimming cut? If you’re looking to hide away challenge spots, a baby doll dress is romantic, feminine, and can keep you (partially) covered.

Bustier: Right up there with a demi-bra and corset, a bustier will keep your partner’s eyes up top.

Need support navigating through the many types, styles, and brands of women’s lingerie online? Reach out to the Femplay customer support team. We’re a proudly female-owned and operated company helping our online community find the accessories they need for a confident and fulfilling sex life.

What’s the Difference Between a Cheap Vibrator and an Expensive One?

If you’re in the market for a vibrator to enhance your solo play and/or lovemaking sessions with a partner, you might be confused as to why there’s such a wide price range for various types of vibrators. The reason for this is that not all vibrators are made equal, and you need to know what to look for before investing in a vibrating companion for the bedroom.

Let’s start with the key difference between a cheap vibrator and an expensive one – the materials. Cheap vibrators are often manufactured using poor quality materials that typically deteriorate fast or give off a strange rubbery smell.

Vibrators (and generally all sex toys) need to be cleaned after each use, and inferior materials won’t withstand repeated exposure to warm water. Remember that this material is coming into direct contact with your skin, and cheap plastic/rubber components can actually pose a health and hygiene hazard.

What are the other key differences between a cheap vibrator and an expensive one?

Whether you’re browsing in-store or online, you might also notice that different vibrators offer a variety of settings and functions. The more you’re willing to spend, the more access you’ll have to a wide range of speeds, motions and other vibration settings that allow you to tailor your masturbatory experience to your individual needs and preferences, in real-time.

Needless to say, cheaper vibrators don’t offer this level of personalisation and you may find that a lower-end vibrator fails to adequately stimulate you.

Expensive vibrators are designed by experts with a wealth of industry experience, and then manufactured with premium quality materials for durability. This expertise and longevity comes at a higher price-point, but the results are immediately noticeable.

By opting for reputable brands, you have a much higher chance of selecting a well-made vibrator that stimulates your clitoris and vagina to the point of climax every time. Always be sure to read several customer reviews before deciding which vibrator to purchase – another benefit of expensive vibrators from industry-leading brands is that they will have plenty of reviews for you to read online.

Femplay supplies a wide variety of vibrators online, for every budget and style preference

At Femplay, we only stock premium quality sex toys from world-renowned manufacturers. As such, we offer a diverse range of top-of-the-line vibrators in our impressive online store – all of which are available for efficient delivery to your door anywhere in Australia, in discreet packaging. Domestic shipping is free when you spend $100 or more, and we also accept Afterpay.

As a proudly female owned and operated business with over 15 years’ experience, we’ve got all your intimacy needs covered. Browse our collection of vibrators, dildos, strap-ons, butt plugs and other quality sex toys online.

H3: Contact Femplay

If you would like to speak with a friendly and knowledgeable member of our professional team, please don’t hesitate to get in touch – we’re here to help.

Sex Toys for Couples – They’re Not Just for Solo Time!

Who says sex toys are just to enjoy on your own? It’s never a bad idea to introduce some accessories to your love-making sessions, as it can increase the intimacy felt between you and your partner.

According to sex expert and author Dr Kat Van Kirk, the belief that using a sex toy means your partner isn’t a good enough lover is one of the most common misconceptions people have about sex toys. There have been numerous studies conducted in recent years that reflect a growing popularity of sex toys for couples, as this misconception is gradually being debunked.

Aside from the fact that toys like massagers, vibrators, cock rings and sexy lingerie can enhance stimulation, they can also help you both to understand each other’s sexual desires better – it’s important for couples to speak each other’s love languages.

Key benefits for couples to use sex toys

  1. They start a conversation

It’s no secret that communication is key in the bedroom, and incorporating couples’ toys into your sex life opens up the lines of communication between you and your partner. It may also lead to other discussions which help you both to improve and enhance your love-life together in other ways.

  • It opens the door for experimentation

By bringing toys into the bedroom, you immediately create new and exciting ways to get experimental and play around with other sexual activities together.

  • It can help you reach climax

If either of you have troubles reaching climax during sex, toys might help solve this problem and even allow you to both reach climax at the same time. The more you use them, the better you’ll both get at using these sex toys on your partner in just the right way to hit their pleasure buttons!

Femplay supplies a wide variety of premium quality sex toys for couples Australia-wide

As a proudly female owned and operated business, Femplay provides Australians with convenient and affordable access to the best quality sex toys for couples – including dildos, penis extenders, lube, bondage gear and more.

We offer efficient and reliable shipping directly to your door nationwide, in discreet packaging for your privacy. Domestic shipping is free when you spend $100 or more, and we accept Afterpay. Spice up your sex life and explore opportunities for kinky experimentation, with our endless range of top-of-the-line sex toys for couples.

Need assistance? Get in touch

If you’d like more information on our sex toys for couples, please don’t hesitate to contact us for assistance from a friendly and knowledgeable member of our team.

Image: Couple