(The sex ones are the funniest)

Australia is known as the “Lucky Country” and we would have to agree with this for a lot of reason but especially when it comes to some archaic laws that are still around. Compared to other countries in the world we don’t have any majorly strange laws that are still in place in this day and age, especially when it is a law that prohibit us from exercising in consensual sex between 2 or more adults.

Let’s start with Australia where we do have some weird laws that you may have never heard of that could still be enforced today, but we don’t really have any crazy sex laws. This may show that we are a little more ahead in the times of our sexual natures:

• It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of the footpath in Australia.
• Victoria – How many Victorian’s does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1 as they have to be an electrician, this is a true law. How about wanting to wear hot pink pants after midday on a Sunday, nope you can’t it is illegal. If you want to go swimming at Brighton Beach it is illegal to wear anything less than a neck to knee swimsuit.
• NSW – If you are travelling by horse and stop at a bar, the bar is required by law to stable, water and feed your horse for you while you’re there. Does it make you wonder what your local bar would do if you did arrive with your steed!
• Queensland – Taxis are required by law to carry a bale of hay in the boot of the car. It is also illegal to sunbath nude in Queensland but it is legal everywhere else in Australia. Not really very fair for the sunshine state now is it!
• Brisbane – You must sweep the footpath outside your home daily before 8:30am or face a $5,000.00 fine, with an increase of $500.00 for each additional day. You are also not allowed to spit on any Brisbane streets. I’m happy with the spitting, yuck, but sweeping every day, I don’t think so.
• WA – It is illegal to crush beer cans between your breasts in the pub. They must be some awesome breasts to be able to attempt to crush some cans in them.
• Tasmania – It was up to 1997 that is was illegal for two men to have sex together even in their own home, it carried a 21 year jail term. Also in Tasmania, it was only decided in 2004 to legalise brothels. A little bit slow in catching up with the rest of Australia.

Let’s move onto America which seems to have quite a few bizarre laws in different states. Here are some of their golden sex laws:

• The US Supreme Court has upheld your right to engage in all the consensual anal and oral acts you want but, ancient anti-sodomy laws still exist in a dozen states. It may make you want to think about where you want to live.
• It’s illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts within 1000 feet of a highway.
• Alabama – it’s illegal to sell “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs”, this was passed into law in 1998 so it’s not some out of date law.
• Arizona – You may not have more than 2 dildos in the same house. We would be in trouble, would you!
• Bakersfield California – You cannot have sex with Satan unless you’re wearing a condom. Hmmm, I think I will pass on having sex with Satan, even though I do like the bad boy sometimes, Satan’s not really my type.
• California – It’s illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay. Have to think about this one, as it is pretty fun to have an orgasm before having a lot more. And if the man has one first, well it can be some time before he is ready to “go” again.
• Florida – Men aren’t allowed to kiss their wives breasts.
• Georgia – The term “sadomasochistic abuse” is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suite. That would be a funny site to see.  
• Indiana – It is illegal for a man to be sexually around in public. You would be wanting to wear baggy pants or the long shirts to cover yourself up as you never know when it can happen for a male.
• Iowa – Kisses may last for no more than 5 minutes. Who has the stop watch out to time you!
• Michigan – Living together before marriage is as they call it a, lewd and lascivious cohabitating and you can be imprisoned for a year and fined $1,000.00. Just say that you are room-mates, and you may get away with it.
• Nebraska – You can’t get married if you have Gonorrhoea. Would you want too!
• Nevada – Sale of sex toys is illegal. But you can gamble and go to strip shows and prostitutes, but you can’t buy sex toys.
• NYC– up until 2014 you could get arrested if you carried around condoms as they considered possession of multiple condoms evidence of prostitution. Ever heard of safe sex!
• Texas – It’s illegal to own more than 6 dildos. Better than the 2 in Arizona, but we would still be in trouble. But who is coming to your home and counting how many dildos you own. That would be an interesting job.
• Washington – Has a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstance which includes the wedding night. Does this mean all true Washington woman are all still Virgin’s? Or do they leave the state on their honeymoon night!

Now let’s have just a quick skip around the world:                             

China

• Woman are not allowed to walk around naked in a hotel room only in the bathroom. Takes away some of the fun of a hotel room, especially a naughty weekend away.

Hong Kong

• A wife is allowed to murder her husband if he cheats on her, but only with her bare hands. Any manner of homicide is apparently fine for the husband’s lover, though. Fair enough!

Thailand

• The fine for a man who has sex with a female dog is higher if the dog is in heat. ???

Lebanon

• Men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. ???

Colombia

• Mothers are required to watch their daughters lose their virginity on the wedding night. I guess at least they get to have sex, not like Washington, but still a bit strange that you have to have an audience of your mother whilst getting intermit with your new husband.

United Arab Emirates

• In Dubai, any sort of PDA (public display of affection) you can end up in jail for 10 days for each person and if you have been drinking you could face up to a year. You can show nothing, they are quite strict on this one.

Uruguay

If a man gets caught in bed with another man’s wife, the husband has the right to either kill both of you or castrate the man and chop off the wife’s nose. Pretty harsh, I would suggest not to cheat.

Spain

No sex on the beach or it could cost you up to €75,000. That’s a lot of money when you could easily wait till you get to the hotel room.

So when you look at some of the strange and bizarre laws from across the world we seem to come off very lightly. It could be that we are still a very young country, or it could be that we are a little more open about sexuality than other countries, just not enough yet to legalise marriage which we are sure will come to pass sooner rather than later.

This was just a little amusing little hop, skip and jump around the world to see what sex laws that are still have in place today. I still wonder whose job it would be to enforce some of these laws, it would be a very different kind of work environment than most of us would be used to.

As long as you are consenting adult humans, I don’t see any reason that you cannot perform any sexual act together or even alone whilst you are in your own home (or maybe a sneaky one in a public place, but just don’t get caught).

Play safe and enjoy yourself.