Sexual fantasies, fetishes, and even just desires can be a difficult subjects to approach even for those of us who are normally very open and communicative. It’s no surprise considering that sex is so personal, but that is no reason to keep quiet about it. Opening up and communicating maturely about sex with your partner/s can only make the experience better! Although it might sound daunting, there are plenty of ways to open up lines of communication about and during sex that will make it more exciting and stimulating.

Find Out what You Have In Common

Let’s be honest here: most of us have fantasies that we don’t talk about either because we’re afraid to be judged for them, we don’t think we’d actually enjoy them, or we don’t trust other people enough to try them. That’s understandable and it’s totally normal to feel that way, but you don’t have to!
You’d be surprised to find out how many people enjoy fulfilling their partners’ fantasies even if they don’t share the fantasy themselves. Simply fulfilling a fantasy makes lots of people feel hot and empowered—it sure does that for me—and it is an incredible way to get even closer to your partner. If you’re thinking that it would be imposing, demanding, or some other such thing, don’t, because it’s not! And who knows? You might just find that you both have some fantasies that you could play out together.
If you want to find out for sure what you two have in common, the internet is your friend. There are scores of different questionnaires online, like mojoupgrade that ask each of you, individually, what kind of stuff you’re into, and then reports which answers you both gave. If you both expressed an interest in anal play or bondage, then it will tell you, but if only one of you put down an interest in something, it tells nothing. Perfect for those of us who still want to keep a few sensitive details private.

Want it? Ask for it!

If you’re really enjoying something while you’re having sex, let your partner know, ask them to keep doing it, and tell them how you’d like them to do it! You can shout it out in the heat of the moment or bring up what you really liked afterwards. Either way, it’ll make things better. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how many people don’t do it. Everyone likes to hear that they’re doing the right thing, so this is a great way to introduce some positive reinforcement. It’ll make both of you feel sexier and it is a powerful way to keep performance anxiety from ruining things.
What if you don’t know what you want? You should do some research. A good erotic story won’t just get your juices flowing; it is a useful way to find out what really turns you on and to see what you might want to do, or to have done to you. Find the hottest passage you can and show it to your partner. Who’d give up an invitation to have inspired, lusty sex when it’s literally shoved in their face?
Communication is absolutely the key to a healthy sex life, and there are plenty of ways to do it. Discussing sex, describing fantasies, finding sexual interests in common and just saying what you want are all valid and useful ways of going about it. Even dirty talk is a means of communicating, so don’t hesitate to try that out!
Nobody’s good at it naturally, but once you get over the initial nerves surrounding talking about sex in a clear manner, it’ll quickly become easy and even natural. Plus, after you have a few conversations about your most salacious fantasies, you’ll be able to take your sex to a whole new level and your sex life will never get boring.