Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, bondage has gone mainstream. It’s now a suburban mums’ favourite weekend after-the-kids-have-gone-to-bed activity. But, despite the overnight popularity of this long-shunned sexual ‘perversion’, many of us have been shy about giving it a try.
Despite popular culture’s belief that bondage is some sort of gateway into the world of deviant sex, you can incorporate light bondage into your love life…without becoming a round-the-clock bondage nut.
You need only a few things to get started with light couple’s bondage:
- Physical restraints, which you can find around the house—anything from furry handcuffs to a silky tie to pantyhose
- Creativity and inventiveness
- To establish who will be the dominant and who will be the submissive… at least for the night
- Trust: these games only work if you trust your partner
- A safe word
If you have all of the above, then you’re ready to get started.
Light Bondage Games for Beginners
If this is your first foray into bondage, then begin with some simple games that won’t put you too far out of your comfort zone—or scare your partner. For complete newbs, I would recommend starting out with the following beginner bondage games. Once familiar with these, move on to intermediate games that incorporate more power—and more toys!
Beginner Bondage Game One: Handcuffs
While most of us have used handcuffs or other restraints in our lovemaking at some point, they are still a great way to kick things off. Handcuffs/restraints are generally the least threatening of all the bondage gear, making them a great jumping off point where almost everyone feels comfortable. Well… as comfortable as you can feel while in handcuffs, anyway.
The point of handcuffs and restraints is to remove a persons’ ability to move, putting their partner in charge. This helps build trust and leaves room for plenty of unexpected pleasure.
Bondage for Beginners Game Two: Vibrator
While you’re all tied up, add some stimulation into the mix with a vibrator or sleeve. This will truly define who is boss, since the person receiving the stimulation loses power completely—even over their own orgasm. Do this correctly and you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand. If you don’t have one yet (really?!?), you can find plenty of great vibrators here.
Beginner Bondage Game Three: Blindfolds
Blindfolds are another ‘yeah, we’ve done that already’ piece of bondage gear—but they play an extremely important role. Blindfolds are about removing one of your partner’s senses. The drama of sensory depravation gives total control, builds trust and increases the intimacy and strength of stimulation and orgasms.
Final Beginner Bondage Game Four: Spanking
Spanking, unlike the other things on this list, isn’t about building trust—it’s about punishment, control and physicality. Spanking is likely a game that will pervade your bondage play (should you choose to keep going in this ‘sport’) well into the future.