When we end a relationship do we really treat ourselves the way we should or do we punish ourselves?

There are many reasons a relationship doesn’t work out. You may grow apart, realise that you don’t see a future with the person you’re with or worse, cheating.

Growing apart or coming to the realization that you are not “meant to be” usually comes as an epiphany. One day you just “realise” that you just know that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with “that special someone”, so why continue being with them?

It can even happen when you are feeling or believing that it is a happy relationship. You can be happy but still have the feeling it’s just not going to last. It is your choice if you want to continue with how it’s going, knowing there will be an ending in the future or you could end it now. But why waste precious years of your life being with someone you don’t think will be there forever? You will regret it, and life is far too short for regrets.

That should be one of the first things we should think about. Our lives, yes we hear it often but do we really hear it? We only have one life and we have to make the most out of it and enjoy as much of it as we can whilst we can. Think about the years of a standard life and what it brings to us.

The first 5 you are a baby/child, then the next 7 you have the kid years followed by 7 teens years, then we finally have the fun 20’s. But once we get to the 30’s, we are settled on our careers and relationships and looking at having children.  Once children come along you have them for the next 20 years, maybe longer. Depending on how many you have. So now your in you’re 60’s – 70’s, so once you have broken it down you don’t have a lot of you time, or time to waste on anything or anyone that is not fulfilling and joyful to your life.

I was in a relationship when I was in my early 20’s. We lived together and everything was fine. Yes, it was fine, just fine. Then one day after many years together I knew fine wasn’t what I wanted or needed. So I broke up with him. I know that he would never have done it as he was happy with what we had.

I did feel his hurt and I did feel some sadness, but it was for the best. I didn’t wallow about the end of the relationship I embraced my single life. I moved to an apartment and lived alone. It felt great. I was going out with friends meeting new people and enjoying myself, I felt happy.

It was like I was dating myself, even to the point that I was ending up home alone after a night out with my hands or my vibe between my legs, I didn’t need a man. But this doesn’t mean that I didn’t have any.

Dating me was one of the best things I could have done. My personality and attitudes became mine and no one else’s. I felt so comfortable and I knew I was not wasting my life. I had a great career and I travelled and was simply enjoying life.

I was living the single life for a few years, dating but no committed relationship. I realised I didn’t need a man in my life to make me whole, I was already whole.

Until one day, a guy who I was just having fun with became something more. It caught us both completely by surprise. We suddenly realised we were essentially in a relationship without even knowing it. We were with each other almost every day, going away on weekends together, as well as planning on doing things together months in advanced, including holidays.

Neither of us had thought about a relationship at all, it just happened.

Then it hit us, we had also fallen in love with each other and surprisingly we couldn’t have been happier. Actually we now know that we could be happier as our lives have just blossomed into something so full and loving as if it was “meant to be”.

I believe that this happened because I didn’t go into a wallowing depression or the “I’m all alone, whoa is me”, when I ended my last relationship. That instead I dated myself and understood and loved myself that I was able to attract someone who had done the same thing, which is why we are so perfect for each other.

If it was the other way and my ex dumped me for whatever reason, I still believe I would have done the same thing as I did.

As I said previously, dating me was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

So if you ever end a relationship, grab yourself and learn to love yourself and have fun. If you want someone to be in your future this will attract them to you. If you actually want to stay alone, well this will attract new friends to enjoy different parts of your life with you.

So go become you, and have fun.