There are some times in our lives that we may not feel amorous and your sex drive may be a little low but this doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you and it is completely natural.

Firstly, there is no such thing as a normal level of sexual desire. How much and how often will vary from person to person. So there is no need to rush out and buy Viagra for the men, and now there is one for women as well.

Whilst a healthy sex life is definitely an important part of adult human experience and relationships, how much sex you have is not really an issue as long as you and your partner are happy with what you do have.

One of the first things we have to remember is that men and women are very different.

Woman need brain activity for sexual urges to run through their bodies, where as men are almost completely hormonally driven. Women’s emotions play a huge role in the level of desire.

There can be many reasons for your libido to fall:

• Medications – some can have side effects that can lower a persons sexual desires
• Stress – this can lead to not wanting sex
• Tired – when we, as humans, are tired we simply don’t want to do anything let alone work up a sweat doing the deed
• Illness – when you have the flu the last thing you want to do is get even hotter between the sheets
• Life changes – baby – new job – kids – buying a house – unemployment can all come in the way of feeling like your usual sexual self
• Drugs – are simply not good for anyone. But some people can find drugs stimulate, others the complete opposite
• Alcohol – whilst some of us think that a glass of wine or a glass of scotch may help get us in the mood it doesn’t always mean that we will be able to perform. Especially if you drink too much. It has been know that some men are not being able to perform with too much alcohol in their systems and if a woman has a few wines this can lead to feeling tired and not horny
• Anger – when you are upset with a partner or troubles in the relationship or even anger at yourself for something
• Contraception – like the pill decreases levels of androgens – a class of hormones including testosterone thought to drive both male and female sexuality. Hormones are altered when you take the pill = desire for sex may change
• Menopause – It is a fact that women’s bodies change with age and that when going through the “change” the last thing on your mind is sex
• Mid life crisis – This is not only for the men but also woman. But it can go in different directions. You hear that men and woman believe the grass is greener on the other side when going through a mid life crisis and may seek out a new lover. This can of course damage your current relationship if you have one. But it also doesn’t mean that you are actually wanting sex, it could mean that you are feeling that age is catching up to you and that you want to hold onto your youth and this can be the reason of swaying
• Depression – Unfortunately, depression can hit anyone at anytime for any reason. It is a time to look after yourself and seek help if required and not a time to worry about if you are getting any sex.

There can also be times that your only sexual urges are for adult toy use only. There is perfectly normal. You can either play by yourself or if you wish let your partner watch, remember there are toys for both men and women so no-one is left out.

Remember it is completely normal to have phases of low libido.  If any one of the reasons as listed above apply to you, then be assured it will most likely be resolved with time or easily with assistance by your doctor.

Please remember, it is only an issue if you want to make it an issue, or if you are missing and wanting those sexual urges and desires.