There’s something primal, sexy and exhilarating about the idea of well-executed breath play. Done safely and responsibly, it can be a lot of fun. However, breath play is also one of the riskiest things in the world of kink. Personally, I really enjoy breath play, but I’d only ever do it with someone that I fully trusted to do it safely. I’ve talked about safe kink before, so I’m going to jump right into the specifics for breath play.

Be Careful, Go Gently

Much of the excitement of breath play doesn’t come from the sensation of a lack of oxygen, but from the feeling of having difficulty breathing. This means that simply having your face pushed, or pushing your partner’s face into a big pillow—not too hard, of course!—is breath play. In fact, pillows are a pretty safe way to get started, since the recipient can always turn his or her head to catch a breath. Whether you’re going with a pillow or covering one partner’s face with a hand, it’s not necessary to press hard to make your partner feel as if it’s difficult to breathe and get the desired effect.

Learn To Read Your Partner

Reading your partner’s reactions is a critical skill for any kinky activity, but it’s absolutely essential in breath play. Emotions can run from arousal to panic in a matter of seconds if someone on the receiving end of breath play feels endangered. If you’re the active one in the scenario, then you need to keep focused and be ready to stop on a dime. Don’t even try to find and push your partner’s limits unless you both have a serious discussion beforehand. You can have plenty of fun while keeping things safe!

It Doesn’t Have To Be the Main Event

If you’re an already-kinky couple looking to try something new, breath play is easy to incorporate into a longer session while working with your ropes and adult toys. For instance, you might want to consider something like ball gagging your partner and then, at some point, blocking their breath through their nose. Of course, you’ll have discussed it beforehand and during your session. If you’re not both enthusiastically into the idea, don’t do it!

One Last Thing: Never Do It Alone

You might’ve heard before about the dangers of solo breath play, better known as autoerotic asphyxiation. Many highly publicised instances of death from autoerotic asphyxiation have made the news in the past few years, so I can’t stress it enough: do not engage in breath play alone.

Breath play can be incredibly hot, but you have to keep safety in mind constantly. If you want to try it out, don’t go crazy—try out a little bit of basic breath play next time you have some kinky sex. Being one of the best sellers of sex toys in Australia, we’ve got plenty of gear that you can bring into the picture while you’re at it, too.