Kinky sex is a big, big topic in this blog, and with good reason. Not only is it a LOT of fun, but it’s technical and demands a level of safety consciousness and awareness about your sexual partner that simply isn’t necessary in vanilla sex. Kink is an extremely broad term that could mean anything from simple bondage and flogging play all the way up to extreme edge play. With all this risky and faux-risky behaviour going on, safety is first on most kinksters’ minds. If you’re just getting into it, here are a few solid safety tips for fun, kinky and safe sex!
Consent, Consent, Consent!
I’ve talked about this kind of stuff in a couple other articles, like this one, so I’ll be brief. Before engaging in some steamy kinky sex, you should discuss what you’re into beforehand, especially if you two (three, four…) want to try something you haven’t done before. Figure out each other’s limits as well as sharing your fantasies. Finally, establish and observe a safe word that, if either of you says it, stops the action immediately so that you can take a step back and prevent harm or any unpleasantness.
Don’t Over-Bind
When you’ve got cuffs, ropes, and other bondage gear in play, you want it to feel real and actually restrict movement. That’s the entire point! However, there’s a difference between restriction and constriction. You don’t want to make things so tight that you cut off your partner’s blood flow. Make sure that he or she is comfortable between tying up and getting started! You should also take care not to tie someone up in an awkward position that might hurt their joints or cause other injuries.
Don’t Force It
Don’t force it in any way whatsoever. If you’re trying to push a dildo, cock, or anything else into your partner’s anus, vagina, mouth, etc, and it’s not sliding in comfortably, you’re either doing it wrong or you don’t have enough lubrication. If that happens, back off, make sure what you’re trying to do is even physically possible, make sure you’re going in at the right angle and depth, and finally, lube up!
This also applies figuratively: if you’re doing something that maybe you are personally into, like, say, smacking your partner’s face, and they’re clearly not into it, STOP. Even if they don’t use the safe word, odds are they’re uncomfortable and just being polite—and that’s not sexy. It goes the other way too: if you want something done to you like being smacked in the face and your partner is uncomfortable with it, then don’t push the issue.
Kink doesn’t seem all that complicated now, does it? That’s because at its core, it isn’t. Kink is all about fantasy fulfilment. However, you got to keep it safe, responsible and enjoyable. It’s actually quite easy to get into, and if you’re looking for something to spice up your sex life, I can’t suggest anything better than kink!