Technology is greatly impacting our lives. Whether you think that impact is for the better, or worse, that’s up to you… Either way, perhaps we can give you a silver technological lining with this sex tech 101. This edition of ‘sexual university’, for those of us with a thirst for sexual knowledge, is about how technology is improving our sex lives.
Technology TRULY IS improving our sex lives. Ever since the vibrator replaced the banana, technology has been a boon, however it has REALLY been ramping up lately via research and sex toys. From cock rings to fleshlights, technology is indeed upping our sex game.
Consider the following ways that technology is improving our sex lives….
#1 Way that Technology is Improving Our Sex Lives: Bill Gates’ Condom
Bill Gates was a pioneer in bringing us the personal computer—which led to the internet, which led to free porn—but now he’s gone a step further. Bill Gates, via the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, is now sponsoring a new form of technological research to improve our sex lives: the techno condom program. The techno condom, aka ‘the graphene condom’, is a project, still in the research phase, that is being hailed as the world’s “most awesome” condom. It will be the thinnest ever, and will provide the most sensation ever known… for a condom.
How can they do this, you ask? Simple: graphene is a substance that is a mere ATOM THICK. That’s an atom away from that natural sensation, all the while still preventing unwanted pregnancies, HIV, the clap and other ‘bothersome’ STDs.
Go Bill (and Melinda).
#2 Way that Technology is Improving Our Sex Lives: Bluetooth Sex Toys
The Big Bang Theory had an episode where they said ‘Bluetooth improves everything’ (aka the ‘Penny Blossom episode’). I couldn’t agree more. Specifically, I’m talking about the addition of Bluetooth to vibrator technology, which has turned a panty pleaser from a solo pastime to a two-person game.
If you aren’t familiar with the technology, Bluetooth vibrators allow you to pass the remote to your partner. Once they have the Bluetooth power, they can provide sexual stimulation from any where around the world.
#3 Way that Technology is Improving Our Sex Lives: Tinder/Grindr
OK, OK—Tinder might not be improving our intimacy—but it sure is making it easier than EVER to get laid. The gays spurred the movement with Grindr, then out came Tinder—aka ‘the straight Grindr. You can now find out how far a horny person is from you in kilometres (Tinder) and FEET (Grindr).
So…thank the digital lords for technology. It’s making boobs bigger, erections longer lasting, and horny people able to sexually connect over distances, as well as providing more pleasure during safe sex and sex on demand. What more would we ask?
Hmm…what more COULD we ask?
Sexy robots. We need sexy robots.