We all know (or should) that sexual activity should only be performed with the agreement of both parties involved. There’s actually an official term for that, and it’s called “affirmative consent”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultimately, consent should be a shared responsibility, which means that all people concerned in the experience must make sure that they have gained the necessary approval. This is not a matter of courtesy either, it\u2019s the law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you are the one providing consent for sex, you can actually withdraw it at any moment; it’s not just a one-time “yes” at the beginning of interaction and then you\u2019re good to go. If you are ever feeling uncomfortable or want to end the moment, you have the right to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The problem is that people often claim that sex becomes “awkward” or “uninspired” if consent is given in advance; like it\u2019s scheduled or \u201crobotic\u201d. While you don\u2019t need to get your pen ready to sign official documentation, consent is <\/em>necessary and it\u2019s simply a no-brainer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So how can you get it without ruining the mood?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you feel like simply checking in with your partner might ruin the sensual atmosphere or take away from its spontaneity, affirmative consent is the best alternative. It looks a bit like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019re looking to understand more about your partner\u2019s preferences and want to know what \u201cgets them off\u201d when it comes to physical contact. To do this appropriately and gain consent at the same time, you can use questions like \u201cWould you like it if I ____?\u201d or \u201cHow does this feel?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Additionally, creative companies have taken affirmative consent one step further by putting together handy cards to help facilitate this dialogue with a partner. If we’ve learnt anything from the BDSM community, it’s that they have a well-established system for discussing permission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, you can also do the work yourself and keep an eye out for any indications that your partner may be feeling a certain way. Body language, emotional expression, sounds \u2013 all of this can paint a thousand pictures if you just stop to pay attention. And it\u2019s your responsibility to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At the end of the day, there are always indicators that show when someone isn\u2019t<\/em> consenting, especially if they’re passive, silent, visually upset, or looking uncomfortable. If you’re unsure, it\u2019s always worth asking them if they\u2019re okay with what\u2019s going on, or assessing if you need to take a step back overall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to consider whether the other person is inebriated or under the influence of drugs. Consequently, they may not be able to provide their consent to sex in the first place. It is your duty to make sure that they are emotionally and physically able to consent to the moment, no matter the circumstance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Again, if you’re unsure, it’s best to come to a halt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Speaking of circumstances, it\u2019s necessary to take into account the context and type of your connection with the person you\u2019re intimate with. For example, if you hold certain authority over them \u2013 like in the workplace \u2013 or are a different age, all of this can influence their comfort with giving consent. They may even feel like they are compelled or unable to reject your offer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember that sex is a joint activity and should always be approached with care and respect. If you\u2019re ever unsure, step back, assess the situation and check with your partner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We all know (or should) that sexual activity should only be performed with the agreement of both parties involved. There’s actually an official term for that, and it’s called “affirmative consent”. Ultimately, consent should be a shared responsibility, which means that all people concerned in the experience must make sure that they have gained the … Continue reading How does consent work (and how to ask without ruining the mood)<\/span> If you’re not sure, stop before going any further<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Consider the circumstances<\/h2>\n\n\n\n