{"id":219,"date":"2014-08-13T14:43:45","date_gmt":"2014-08-13T04:43:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/?p=219"},"modified":"2014-08-13T14:51:54","modified_gmt":"2014-08-13T04:51:54","slug":"engineers-guide-dirty-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/engineers-guide-dirty-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"An Engineer’s Guide To Dirty Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"

Talking dirty isn\u2019t easy, and many of us are so struck with performance anxiety at the prospect of sounding sexy that we don\u2019t even try, freeze up when we do, or can\u2019t fathom a way to actually sound convincing. If that\u2019s how you feel about it, don\u2019t worry! It\u2019s entirely natural and we all feel that way at some point. You\u2019re not untalented at it, you just need a few pointers, so let\u2019s talk about talking dirty.<\/p>\n

\"whisper
whisper between lovers<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Don\u2019t Over-Think It: The KISS Principle<\/h2>\n

Why do we freeze up when we should be talking dirty? Because we think we have to do it perfectly. We try to come up with the sexiest thing possible to say, over-think it and end up stammering through it, saying nothing at all or saying something ridiculous. It doesn\u2019t have to be that way, though! All you need to do is follow the engineer\u2019s first rule:<\/p>\n

Keep It Simple, Stupid!<\/em><\/p>\n

You probably have a good idea of what your partner likes and maybe even what some of his or her fantasies are. That\u2019s what you should play off of. If your partner is into bondage<\/a>, try handcuffing them to the bed and telling them what you\u2019re about to do or simply narrate what you\u2019re already doing (\u2018Yeah, you like it when I tie you up, don\u2019t you? Now I\u2019m gonna\u2026\u2019)
\nHell, most people get turned on like crazy if you simply tell them you\u2019ll suck them off or eat them out in a sexy tone of voice.<\/p>\n

Porn Isn\u2019t Real Life<\/h2>\n

A lot of our misconceptions about everything sexual, including dirty talk, come from porn. We\u2019re not disparaging pornography\u2014far from it\u2014but you have to keep in mind that porn is necessarily an audio-visual experience and sex is, well, tactile. Porn talk serves to amplify the audio-visual aspect of the experience, so don\u2019t rely on it for your own dirty talk!<\/p>\n

However, during real sex, you\u2019ll be focusing on entirely different parts of the body, visual cues, and sounds than in porn and your talk should adapt to that. Basically, you should mostly be talking about actions and sensations rather than appearances. Just like anything else sexual, doing it well requires lots of communication and observation. When your partner reacts positively to something you\u2019re doing, keep doing it and talk about variations! When you\u2019re getting a good reaction, try saying something like \u2018if you like that, how about when I do this\u2026’<\/p>\n

After you\u2019ve finished, you can even keep the dirty talk going. Bring up what went well while you were having sex, ask your partner what they\u2019d like you to do next time, and try to come up with something new to try based on what you just learned. Then, they\u2019ll already be fantasising about what you\u2019re going to do next time. It\u2019s really that simple.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a kinky couple or are curious about it<\/a>, that\u2019s a great avenue to really go for the gold, because there\u2019s so much fun stuff in kink, from toys and equipment to concepts of power dynamics and (simulated) danger that you\u2019ll never run out of stimulating talking points. Interestingly enough, there\u2019s plenty of high-quality kinky porn out there that breaks the industry\u2019s terrible-dirty-talk mould; there might be some good stuff in there to try out, so maybe you should consider watching some with your partner and seeing what they\u2019re into.<\/p>\n

All you have to do is try to be creative and never give up on it. Even if your first few attempts don\u2019t do much for either of you, you\u2019ll get better at it as long as you keep trying. Remember, this is a little clich\u00e9, but you\u2019re your own worst critic. So, even if you feel a little ridiculous trying to sound hot, your partner will probably react positively. Now, get in the bedroom and say something sexy tonight!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Talking dirty isn\u2019t easy, and many of us are so struck with performance anxiety at the prospect of sounding sexy that we don\u2019t even try, freeze up when we do, or can\u2019t fathom a way to actually sound convincing. If that\u2019s how you feel about it, don\u2019t worry! It\u2019s entirely natural and we all feel … Continue reading An Engineer’s Guide To Dirty Talk<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=219"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":224,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions\/224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}