{"id":887,"date":"2015-10-06T12:17:50","date_gmt":"2015-10-06T02:17:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/?p=887"},"modified":"2015-10-06T12:17:50","modified_gmt":"2015-10-06T02:17:50","slug":"fear-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/fear-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Fear of Sex&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s hard to believe but there may be some things that are making you not want to have sex or have a fear that stops you from enjoying\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/insecure.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright\" alt=\"insecure\" src=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/insecure-300x200.jpg\" width=\"206\" height=\"138\" \/><\/a> sex, and it&#8217;s not an uncommon issue.<!--more-->Sex is such a wonderful and pleasurable experience so if there is an issue we must stop and look at how to deal with the issues at hand and see how we can work on them to make sure that our love making can continue to thrive.<\/p>\n<p>One of the most popular issues for not enjoying our sex life is our <b><i>physical insecurities<\/i><\/b>.<\/p>\n<p>For example:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Am I overweight<\/li>\n<li>Muffin top or tuck shop lady arms<\/li>\n<li>Big bum or no bum<\/li>\n<li>Big thighs<\/li>\n<li>Too hairy<\/li>\n<li>Penis size &#8211; shape<\/li>\n<li>Vagina size &#8211; shape<\/li>\n<li>Breasts too small too big or man boobs<\/li>\n<li>Skin conditions<\/li>\n<li>Scent\/smell<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The list could go on as we are creatures who will always find something wrong with ourselves. You will be hard pressed to find a person that loves every single thing about their bodies. It is such a shame that humans do this as no-one is perfect.<\/p>\n<p>With physical insecurities the first thing we have to do is deal with them ourselves. We have to become comfortable in our own skin. We have to love ourselves no matter what we may not like about ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously there are some issues that we can address easily and make a difference. If it is a weight issue we need to exercise and eat <a href=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/exercise.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-889 alignright\" alt=\"exercise\" src=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/exercise-285x300.jpg\" width=\"143\" height=\"151\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/exercise-285x300.jpg 285w, https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/exercise.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 143px) 100vw, 143px\" \/><\/a>well. Body odour can be something that can be treated by a doctor if it is a major issue to you. The rest is you, the natural you and unless you want to undergo expensive plastic surgery it is not going to change.<\/p>\n<p>We also have to remember that beauty is also in the eye of the beholder, this means that what we think or believe doesn&#8217;t make us look good someone else may find it not only attractive but a real turn on.<\/p>\n<p>The best thing for you to do is really look at yourself, treat yourself right and learn to love every part of your body. Once you have done this you won&#8217;t want to turn the lights off or feel insecure every time you take your clothes off in front of someone.<\/p>\n<p>Coming up next is <b><i>performance anxiety<\/i><\/b>; this is especially the case when you are becoming intimate for the first time. One of the most <a href=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/performance.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-892 alignright\" alt=\"performance\" src=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/performance.jpg\" width=\"131\" height=\"131\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/performance.jpg 225w, https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/performance-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 131px) 100vw, 131px\" \/><\/a>key issues about pleasing someone and about them pleasing you is to know how to please yourself first.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Masturbation\">Masturbation<\/a> is a joy that we can all achieve and take in our own hands, literally. Use your hands, play with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\">toys<\/a> please yourself. Try different things, you are alone you can do anything you want to yourself to find what your body and mind enjoys and doesn&#8217;t enjoy. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/masturbation.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-891\" alt=\"masturbation\" src=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/masturbation-300x168.jpg\" width=\"179\" height=\"100\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/masturbation-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/masturbation.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 179px) 100vw, 179px\" \/><\/a>You have no need to be shy here, just go for it.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to someone else pleasing you and if they are just not getting the job done the way you like simply tell them. They are not mind readers and as we are all different and enjoy different things we do need direction sometimes. These goes the other way as well, ask your lover if they like what you&#8217;re doing and if they say they don&#8217;t this is not a time to get anxious this is a time to learn and please your lover. It can only get better once you both know what you like.<\/p>\n<p>The <b><i>emotional toils<\/i><\/b> of sex can attribute to fear in your sexual life as well. This is about how you feel or believe sex should be. You may have moral, religious beliefs or values that make you only want to perform certain acts of sex and that is completely up to you. It is your life and your body but you have to be honest with any partner that you choose and inform them what you will and won&#8217;t do. It would be unfair to tell them after being intimate with them. If it doesn&#8217;t feel right or doesn&#8217;t work out because you didn&#8217;t speak to them this can take both of you on an emotionally level that you don&#8217;t want to nor should you have to go to.<\/p>\n<p>This can also lead to the fear of having a break down in a relationship because of sex. You may believe that if the sex isn&#8217;t working for you the relationship will fall apart causing broken hearts and broken dreams. Again, being honest and open to each other before you start on a physical level is the best answer.<\/p>\n<p>Now for the big one, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sti.health.gov.au\/internet\/sti\/publishing.nsf\"><b><i>Sexual Transmitted Infections<\/i><\/b><\/a>. The most important thing I can suggest is safe sex and to use <a href=\"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/condoms.htm\">a condom<\/a>. STI&#8217;s are real and they are out there and you don&#8217;t know who has them, you cannot tell by just looking at someone or any part of their bodies. Some people may have an STI that they don&#8217;t even know about and may have had it for years as symptoms don&#8217;t always appear.<\/p>\n<p>Once you are in a committed relationship and you want to take the next step of no longer using condoms you should both go to your doctors and get tested for any kind of STI&#8217;s. Even if you have always practiced safe sex you need to do it as well. You can&#8217;t ask your partner to do it and not have them expect you to do it.<\/p>\n<p>Sex is an enjoyable experience that you can have with whoever you want. It is up to you if you want one night stands, a fling on the side, a tinder hook up or if you are looking for a long term relationship. It is your body it is up to you what you want to do with it and how you want to please it, but always remember to look after it so that you have many years of enjoyment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s hard to believe but there may be some things that are making you not want to have sex or have a fear that stops you from enjoying\u00a0 sex, and it&#8217;s not an uncommon issue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,4],"tags":[220,215,8,66,216,218,214,221,222,217,219],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=887"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":893,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions\/893"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.femplay.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}